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~ Saturday, February 9 ~
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Taylor Swift Is A Half-Human/Half-Bird Creature

I’m not usually one to buy into conspiracy theories. I believe man landed on the moon, Elvis is dead, and Shakespeare wrote all of his plays. However, I recently formed my own theory I believe in so strongly that I’m going to share it with you all now. You may think Taylor Swift is the innocent, virginal princess of pop music she makes herself out to be, but I don’t think so… By the time you finish reading this post, I hope you too believe that she is some form of half-human/half-bird beast amassing an army of fellow birds and teenage girls in order to wipe out humanity, and that we all must work together to return her from whence she came.

Here’s my evidence:

1. Taylor is extremely thin and her skeleton looks very lightweight. Is it that wrong to suspect her bones to have large air-filled cavities which connect to her respiratory system to better facilitate flight?

2. Was Kanye trying to tell us something at the 2009 MTV VMA’s? Is his infamous “Kanye shrug” merely an expression of indifference, or was he suggesting there was more to Taylor than we realise? (Wings.)

3. This cat is clearly not pleased to be handled by an enormous half-human version of it’s prey.

4. She dated John Mayer. He was born in Bridgeport, Connecticut. The mayor of Bridgeport is Bill Finch. Bill… Finch…

5. A young Taylor Swift holding a flower. Cute. Unless that’s something she’s collected for her nest?!

6. Which average person would get that excited to see a bird? It’s just a large ciconiiform. There’s nothing that special about long-legged wading birds, Taylor…

7. I feel like I’ve made my point by now.

EDIT: Oh, and her last name is “Swift”.

Tags: lol taylor swift kanye west john mayer animals celebs music
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~ Thursday, June 7 ~
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Kanye West VS. The World You may know Kanye West from: his interruption of Taylor Swift at the 2009 VMAs, declaring that George W. Bush doesn’t like black people, his supposed Illuminati membership, assaulting a photographer at an airport, stopping everything onstage to make requests, his Twitter rants, his ALL CAPS blog posts, getting mad at the Today Show, comparing himself to Hitler, and more. But did you know he also makes great music? Kanye West is a villain. He is hip hop’s Darth Vader. The Voldemort of the music industry. The Tom Cruise of real life. The only person to have ever made Regina George feel personally victimised. That’s how the media portrays him, at least. Regardless of how good his intentions are, the media is quick to find the negatives in everything Kanye does. Given his reputation, most people believe them too. Even an act of pure goodness can be demonised to make Kanye be the narcissistic, controlling, ego-driven maniac so many people want him to be. Here are some examples: What He Did: Helps an old lady cross the road.The Headline: Kanye Walks An Elderly Woman Into Oncoming Traffic What He Did: Gives a small child a balloon.The Headline: Kanye West Gives Child A Balloon/Choking Hazard; Experts Say They’re Lucky To Be Alive What He Did: Woman says Kanye reupholstered her pussy.The Headline: Woman Claims Kanye Reupholstered Her Cat, Replacing It’s Fur With Leather Illuminati Pattern What He Did: Rescues 27 puppies from a burning building.The Headline: *Video Footage Played In Reverse* Kanye West Places 27 Puppies In Burning Building What He Did: Saves the world from an apocalyptic meteor.The Headline: Kanye Stops Meteor (Slightly Smaller Than His Ego) And Saves The World So He Can Continue Telling Everyone How Better He Is Than Them “Give a black man a chance.”

Kanye West VS. The World

You may know Kanye West from: his interruption of Taylor Swift at the 2009 VMAs, declaring that George W. Bush doesn’t like black people, his supposed Illuminati membership, assaulting a photographer at an airport, stopping everything onstage to make requests, his Twitter rants, his ALL CAPS blog posts, getting mad at the Today Show, comparing himself to Hitler, and more. But did you know he also makes great music?

Kanye West is a villain. He is hip hop’s Darth Vader. The Voldemort of the music industry. The Tom Cruise of real life. The only person to have ever made Regina George feel personally victimised. That’s how the media portrays him, at least. Regardless of how good his intentions are, the media is quick to find the negatives in everything Kanye does. Given his reputation, most people believe them too. Even an act of pure goodness can be demonised to make Kanye be the narcissistic, controlling, ego-driven maniac so many people want him to be.

Here are some examples:

What He Did: Helps an old lady cross the road.
The Headline: Kanye Walks An Elderly Woman Into Oncoming Traffic

What He Did: Gives a small child a balloon.
The Headline: Kanye West Gives Child A Balloon/Choking Hazard; Experts Say They’re Lucky To Be Alive

What He Did: Woman says Kanye reupholstered her pussy.
The Headline: Woman Claims Kanye Reupholstered Her Cat, Replacing It’s Fur With Leather Illuminati Pattern

What He Did: Rescues 27 puppies from a burning building.
The Headline: *Video Footage Played In Reverse* Kanye West Places 27 Puppies In Burning Building

What He Did: Saves the world from an apocalyptic meteor.
The Headline: Kanye Stops Meteor (Slightly Smaller Than His Ego) And Saves The World So He Can Continue Telling Everyone How Better He Is Than Them

“Give a black man a chance.”

Tags: LOL Music Kanye West
102 notes - Comments
~ Saturday, May 19 ~
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As a birthday gift to myself, I stayed up until 4AM making an image where I’m riding on Kanye’s shoulders through a nebula for my phone’s background. I’m so alone.

As a birthday gift to myself, I stayed up until 4AM making an image where I’m riding on Kanye’s shoulders through a nebula for my phone’s background.

I’m so alone.

Tags: LOL Art Celebs Kanye West
17 notes - Comments
~ Thursday, September 15 ~
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Kanye Reblogging Kanye // The Bubblegum Gang

Kanye Reblogging Kanye // The Bubblegum Gang

Tags: LOL Kanye West
157 notes - Comments
~ Thursday, June 9 ~
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The Real Story Behind Kanye West’s “Monster” Music Video Watch the video before reading this. Everyone’s talking about the violent, misogynistic and racial themes in Kanye West’s new music video for “Monster”. Sure, the clip contains cannibalism, demonic creatures and a plethora of dead white models, but I believe people are looking at it in the wrong way. The story of Kanye West, Jay-Z, Nicki Minaj and Rick Ross in this house of horrors is actually much more lighthearted than you’re being lead to believe. Here’s the real story behind the video: Mr. West and co. were travelling across America, solving mysteries in their van, aptly titled “The Mystery Machine”, when they stumbled upon the haunted mansion in the video. Having vowed to eradicate the world of monsters, demons, bad music and other evils; they were forced to investigate. Upon entering they realised they had stumbled upon a cult made up entirely of vampiric, white, female models, a common occurrence throughout the United States. They crept around the mansion unbeknownst to the female creatures, until Rick Ross clumsily dropped a jar of peanut butter while “investigating” the kitchen cupboards. A great battle ensued, where the four heroes were split up and Nicki kidnapped. After each rapper had successfully killed the white bitches that were trying to consume their souls, they recharged their powers by rapping alone in various rooms. Once they were fully charged, they regrouped and fought their way to the missing Minaj, located in the basement and guarded by the cult leader who had transformed into an evil version herself. The three men combined their powers (Kanye’s ego, Jay-Z’s money and Ross’ plump physique) to defeat the cult leader, thus freeing Nicki and allowing them to continue their vanquishing of evil elsewhere.

The Real Story Behind Kanye West’s “Monster” Music Video

Watch the video before reading this.

Everyone’s talking about the violent, misogynistic and racial themes in Kanye West’s new music video for “Monster”. Sure, the clip contains cannibalism, demonic creatures and a plethora of dead white models, but I believe people are looking at it in the wrong way. The story of Kanye West, Jay-Z, Nicki Minaj and Rick Ross in this house of horrors is actually much more lighthearted than you’re being lead to believe. Here’s the real story behind the video:

Mr. West and co. were travelling across America, solving mysteries in their van, aptly titled “The Mystery Machine”, when they stumbled upon the haunted mansion in the video. Having vowed to eradicate the world of monsters, demons, bad music and other evils; they were forced to investigate.

Upon entering they realised they had stumbled upon a cult made up entirely of vampiric, white, female models, a common occurrence throughout the United States. They crept around the mansion unbeknownst to the female creatures, until Rick Ross clumsily dropped a jar of peanut butter while “investigating” the kitchen cupboards. A great battle ensued, where the four heroes were split up and Nicki kidnapped.

After each rapper had successfully killed the white bitches that were trying to consume their souls, they recharged their powers by rapping alone in various rooms. Once they were fully charged, they regrouped and fought their way to the missing Minaj, located in the basement and guarded by the cult leader who had transformed into an evil version herself. The three men combined their powers (Kanye’s ego, Jay-Z’s money and Ross’ plump physique) to defeat the cult leader, thus freeing Nicki and allowing them to continue their vanquishing of evil elsewhere.

Tags: LOL Kanye West
25 notes - Comments