The Bubblegum Gang

Zooey Deschanel’s Lament You loved her in (500) Days...

Tue, 29 May 2012 10:20:41 +1000

Zooey Deschanel’s Lament

You loved her in (500) Days Of Summer, you can’t stop listening to She & Him, and you strongly believe The New Girl is based upon your own life. Basically, you’re so Zooey right now. And why wouldn’t you be? She’s Katy Perry’s twin sister. The blueprint for every indie girl. The reigning Queen of Quirkiness. But not all is well for Zooey Deschanel…

As you may have noticed, her quirkiness is rubbing off on everyone. Women all around the world are getting their bangs trimmed, starting leaf collections, posting photos with their cat, and learning the rap verses to popular songs. However, while her influence may be great (and you’ve gotten strangely good at krumping ironically), this does not bode well for Zooey.

Zooey is renown for her quirkiness, but if every other girl starts being quirky, Zooey will have to get quirkier. And then quirkier. And then quirkier again. Where does that end? How can it? Will Zooey need to create her own zany language and start walking on her hands? Will she explode in a supernova of quirk? Or will reverting back to normality be the new “quirky”?

That is Zooey’s reality, her struggle, and her fate.

We’ll just have to wait and see…

Tumblr Pick-Up Lines - VII // The Bubblegum Gang See more.

Mon, 28 May 2012 11:20:14 +1000

Tumblr Pick-Up Lines - VII // The Bubblegum Gang

See more.

As a birthday gift to myself, I stayed up until 4AM making an...

Sat, 19 May 2012 11:50:09 +1000

As a birthday gift to myself, I stayed up until 4AM making an image where I’m riding on Kanye’s shoulders through a nebula for my phone’s background.

I’m so alone.

Happy Birthday Everyone! Wait, I thought all of you guys and I...

Fri, 18 May 2012 08:58:55 +1000

Happy Birthday Everyone!

Wait, I thought all of you guys and I had our birthday on the same day?!

This is embarrassing…

A KONY 2012 poster covering a road sign warning of dangerous...

Fri, 27 Apr 2012 10:23:32 +1000

A KONY 2012 poster covering a road sign warning of dangerous curves ahead…

Looks like Joseph Kony is taking lives all of the way down in Australia too!

God Is Everywhere… Except Myspace // The Bubblegum Gang

Wed, 11 Apr 2012 12:37:00 +1000

God Is Everywhere… Except Myspace // The Bubblegum Gang

If you like The Bubblegum Gang then please “Like”...

Tue, 10 Apr 2012 11:44:00 +1000

If you like The Bubblegum Gang then please “Like” The Bubblegum Gang on Facebook!

And feel free to add me on Facebook. After all, the more friends you have online, the cooler you are!

Single And Ready To Mangle // The Bubblegum Gang

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 09:18:59 +1000

Single And Ready To Mangle // The Bubblegum Gang

Nuclear Waist // The Bubblegum Gang

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 09:11:19 +1000

Nuclear Waist // The Bubblegum Gang

New look. New posts. New ideas. Twitter/Message/Facebook/Tour/

Mon, 02 Apr 2012 13:05:31 +1000

New look. New posts. New ideas.

Twitter/Message/Facebook/Tour/

What Quirky Girls Do Being different is so in right now. Between...

Thu, 01 Mar 2012 09:37:24 +1100

What Quirky Girls Do

Being different is so in right now. Between Instagram’s self-proclaimed quirkiness, Zooey Deschanel’s rising popularity as the New Girl, and the prominence of hipsters everywhere, it’s clearly currently cool to be quirky. But how sincere is all of this weirdness? If everyone’s doing strange acts, when do they stop being strange and start being the norm?

My new Twitter account, @QuirkyGirlsDo, catalogues the actions of quirky girls. Basically, if you can imagine Zooey Deschanel doing it, chances are it’ll be tweeted there. Here are a few examples of what quirky girls do:

- Hold a funeral for a dead bird.

- Collect leaves.

- Always manage to get a smudge of something on their cheek or nose while cooking.

- Reblog an excessive amount of Joseph Gordon-Levitt photos.

- Occasionally sleep in the closet.

- Wear Halloween costumes that are not typically slutty, but still show off their curves.

- Krump ironically.

So if you’re a quirky girl, like quirky girls, or like mocking quirky girls, you should follow @QuirkyGirlsDo. You should also tweet in anything you see a girl doing which makes you think “That’s so Zooey!”

Follow @QuirkyGirlsDo

Watch Tans: The Next Big Thing In Fashion Once upon a time,...

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 11:19:41 +1100

Watch Tans: The Next Big Thing In Fashion

Once upon a time, having a band of pale skin on your arm from excessive watch wearing would make you a “loser”, but all that’s changed now. Coming straight out of Paris, a patch of untanned skin on your wrist is set to be the next big thing this Summer. A watch tan lets everyone around you know that you’re punctual, outdoorsy, and too busy being awesome to apply sun lotion. Here’s what some of the biggest fashion houses are saying about the next big thing:

“There’s nothing sexier than a watch tan.” - Dior

“Don’t date a man without one.” - Chanel

“If time is money, then watch tans are the epitome of wealth.” - Givenchy

To get one, simply wear a watch at all times. Once your body produces enough melanin on your arms to tan you, a sexy strip of skin will be waiting under your timepiece. Simply change your watch to your other wrist when you’re in a social situation and want all of the attention to be on you. Then prepare to be the talk of the town, you groovy hipster. After you’ve developed your watch tan, check out the “watch tan” section of LookBook to see how everyone is wearing their newest accessory-caused-accessory.

Keep that strip of skin away from ultraviolet light and you won’t be able to keep the girls away from you!

What You Did While Tumblr Was Down // The Bubblegum Gang

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 15:51:22 +1100

What You Did While Tumblr Was Down // The Bubblegum Gang

Notifications: The Best And Worst Things In Our Lives All of our...

Thu, 19 Jan 2012 09:57:35 +1100

Notifications: The Best And Worst Things In Our Lives

All of our hearts skip a beat when we see those little alerts that tell us that someone in the world wide web cares enough to interact with us on a social network. However, while supplying our lives with a joy and excitement that is otherwise hard to come by, they’re also a source of much disappointment. Here’s a deeper look into those little bittersweet squares:

Facebook

Most of us get Facebook notifications often enough, and we’re usually left disappointed by how mundane they are. Given how interweaved the social network is with our real lives, there’s much more at stake here.

What You Hope It Will Be: A friend request from that person you work with and secretly love, your ex telling you how much they regret leaving you and how much they miss the sex, or a tagged image of you where you resemble Brad Pitt.

What It Is: A friend request from someone you’re indifferent about, your grandmother asking for assistance in Farmville, or a tagged image of you where you resemble Philip Seymour Hoffman (and you’re a girl).

Tumblr

Unless you’re internet famous or somehow have a life outside of the internet, messages on Tumblr are relatively rare compared to Facebook. Therefore, when you see that “1” above your inbox, it’s a cause for celebration, yet it’s rarely what we pray it is.

What You Hope It Will Be: A message from an attractive member of your preferred sex stating: “So I found your blog, and based on your description, tiny-yet-attractive display picture, and our shared love of kitten .gifs, I’ve decided to have sex with you. It turns out I live close by, and I strongly believe we’re star-crossed lovers drawn together by our preferred micro-blogging platform.”

What It Is: A “Thanks for the follow!” or an anonymous “No wonder you’re so lonely.”

Twitter

The blue light that appears beneath your @connect tab when someone tweets @ you is a relatively new feature on Twitter, and it doesn’t take 140 characters to describe how disappointing the results almost always are.

What You Hope It Will Be: Anything that’s not spam.

What It Is: Spam.

How To Survive The Internet Blackout If you’re unaware of...

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 12:15:00 +1100

How To Survive The Internet Blackout

If you’re unaware of January 18th’s SOPA protest, the largest internet strike in history, you deserve to not be able to use Wikipedia for your homework for those 12 hours. While we’re all against SOPA, the shutting down of thousands of websites will leave many of us searching around the internet for something to do. Remember that blackouts are dangerous though, so here are a few tips on how to survive The Great Internet Blackout Of 2012:

- Don’t wander through the darkened internet blindly. You’re bound to stub your toe on a blog about tentacle rape or fall over one of your old blogs, leaving you crying on the floor about how much you miss your ex. Stick to the websites you know and save what’s left of your innocence and self-esteem.

- Don’t bother checking the fusebox. Science shows that constantly refreshing a page slows down time by 276%. Unless you want those twelve hours without Reddit, Twitpic, Wordpress, and more to last a lifetime, don’t bother.

- Don’t leave your computer. The sun burns, there’s nothing on TV, and social situations are awkward. There’s always something better to do on the internet than there is in real life. Always.

Make sure you’ve got new batteries in your e-torch, some candles in your downloads folder, and we’ll see each other on the other side.

Kill And Consume Your Better Half // The Bubblegum Gang

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 10:51:12 +1100

Kill And Consume Your Better Half // The Bubblegum Gang

Pokémon Doppelgänger Week Have you ever been mistaken for a...

Fri, 13 Jan 2012 09:16:01 +1100

Pokémon Doppelgänger Week

Have you ever been mistaken for a Charizard?

Did you once get hit on because of your likeness to Eevee?

Ever had someone come up to you and say “Excuse me, Onyx…”?

Well, now’s the time to celebrate your likeness to the Pokémon you’re always being mistaken for!

The 12th - 19th of January is Pokémon Doppelgänger Week! In order to join in on the fun, simply change your Facebook, Twitter or Tumblr profile image to a photo of your chosen creature. Reblog this, tweet it or post it in your status update after you’ve done so to spread the word on this international week of celebration!

- Images Of All Pokémon.
- Information On All Pokémon.
- Pokémon Doppelgänger Week Headquarters.

Facebook Justice // The Bubblegum Gang

Thu, 12 Jan 2012 12:14:15 +1100

Facebook Justice // The Bubblegum Gang

Follow my new personal blog.

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 12:34:34 +1100

Follow my new personal blog.

Getting Revenge On Small Children Kids can be real dicks...

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 10:36:25 +1100

Getting Revenge On Small Children

Kids can be real dicks sometimes. Sure, they’re too young to realise the consequences of their actions, but is that really an excuse? Whether they’re playing up in a store, throwing things or heckling you, they know that there’s nothing you can do to get back at them… until now. Unless you’re their family, you can’t discipline them without being arrested, and thus you’ve got to be smart about getting revenge on the five-year-old who just called you a “bitch”.

Here are a few methods you can use for revenge:

- The Dead Animal Trick: So, you know where the punk kid lives, and you’ve got to make the most of that. When the family aren’t around, sneak onto the premises and leave a deceased animal somewhere for the kid to find. A dead bird in the mailbox, a cat at the food of the bed, or a cow’s head in the sandpit, it would surely do some psychological damage. The child may even contract a disease from it! Win-Win!

- The Dream Ruiner: If you’re away from their parents and want to do some quick damage, do your best to ruin everything they have. Start firing out sentences that destroy not only their childhood, but also their hope. For example: “Santa isn’t real, you can’t be whatever you want to be, and your parents would be happier if you weren’t around.” Get a combo going and that kid will be crying before you can say “Dora The Explorer has AIDS.”

- The Tattle Tail: If you feel like you’re too good to try the above techniques, you can always just tell the child’s parents what they did. The punishment they deal out, along with the disappointment they feel, should be enough revenge. You can even add to the list of wrongs the child committed. Throw in “They said the ‘c-word’ too!” for extra damage, and saying they asked you for a cigarette can’t hurt. However, if the parents are as horrible as their children: it’s war. I’ll save that for another post though…