Alternatives To The Death Penalty

After the controversial execution of the possibly-innocent Troy Davis, it’s once again become painfully clear that the death penalty needs to be thrown away. While the majority of people on death row may be guilty, doing so would prevent further similar instances from occurring and the government can stop systematically taking lives. However, if the death penalty was done away with, there should still be some greater punishment for the most dangerous criminals on the planet.

Here are my suggestions:

Force Prisoners To Be Regular Guests On The View - Sitting on a panel with four middle-aged women yelling over the top of each other may seem extraordinarily cruel, but it comes with a few benefits. If the prisoners can somehow manage to get a word in, perhaps their voices could be heard. At the very least, with deadly criminals on the set, perhaps one of them could finally get rid of that blonde woman…

Only Allow Prisoners To Watch Bad Romantic Comedies - It may seem painful enough to us, but to the world’s most ruthless killers it would be excruciating. Being forced to sit through hours of Jennifer Aniston, Matthew McConaughey, and Kate Hudson falling in and out of love? Yikes. However, while it may seem a bit too Guantanamo, films like Valentine’s Day might teach them something about love… Right?

Implement Dementors Into Prisons - Now that the Harry Potter film series is over, there are going to be a lot of unemployed Dementors flying around. Why not put them to use in the prison system? People would think twice about committing murder if they’d be faced with Dementors when they get to jail. After all, Dementors drain the peace, hope, and happiness out of the air faster than hearing your ex-lovers name does.

These alternatives may seem far worse than death, but at least no more innocent lives would be lost.